Hansel and Gretel
by Valentine's Riddle
Summary: A contemporary, if overly sadistic, reworking of the classic story.


**A/N: This was part of a Creative Writing course I did at school. The task was to rewrite a fairy tale in a more contemporary style. I managed to produce this, which is a kind of Blair Witch Project inspired Hansel and Gretel... rather creepy! Anyway, if you like I hope you'll review. I'm not expecting many people to like it but figured I'd put it up anyway! (Oh, and in this, in case you don't figure it out, they're a couple, not siblings)- Riddle Xx**

Hansel and Gretel

One fine evening Gretel was roused from slumber by the sound of a thud on the window.

"What was that?" wondered the young girl, as the tap was followed by several more- and then, a resounding _crash!_ She ran to the window, and glared at the handsome blond boy on the road below.

"Sorry!" hissed Hansel. "I ran out of stones, so I used a brick" Gretel rolled her eyes. Her boyfriend never had been the sharpest tool in the box.

"I'll be down in a minute" she whispered. "Daddy won't be pleased if he spots us"

"Well, that's why we're going out!" said Hansel. "Come on!"

Gretel scampered out of the house and he grasped her small hand in his. She smiled up at him, but he was busy checking to see whether her father was around. "Okay" he whispered. "Come on" and Hansel pulled Gretel through two fields before ducking into a wooded path. Borrowing her lipstick, he brushed a bright smear on the trunk of one of the trees.

"It's hard to distinguish the trails in the dark" he explained.

"Where are we going?" she replied, shooting nervous glances left and right.

"Somewhere" said Hansel "Where no-one will find us. This is the only way we'll be back before dawn. But stay close now, Gretel, these woods are dangerous" Gretel looked up at him with the wide, innocent eyes of someone barely past girlhood, and he sighed.

"These _disappearances_ are all children, all after dark, wandering around. But I'm not a child. You'll be safe with me" Gretel looked at his skinny form and privately reserved judgement on that claim.

"You know something?" she said, shooting him an indecipherable look, part fear, part contempt, and part something else.

"Yes, there are rumours that I hear from... people I know."

"Do I know them?"

"No, they live on the other side of town" Gretel swallowed her protest. Her boyfriend was older than her, and he preferred not to discuss his friends with her, for reasons he never elaborated on- though, as a perceptive girl, Gretel felt she could make an educated guess. Hansel was busy smearing yet another cross on a tree trunk.

"Well" she swallowed "What do they say?" Hansel glanced around, and dropped his voice to a whisper, before lengthening his strides slightly.

"They say" he said, so quietly that he could barely hear "That there's a... _witch_... in these woods. She kidnaps children and..." he looked at his girlfriend, silently daring her not to laugh. "They are never seen again. They say she kills them and eats them. Why, we don't know. Perhaps she lost a child. Perhaps she's just... insane. But, that's what people are saying. Someone got away, and hasn't spoken a word since. He's just lost the power of speech. Too terrified to tell, in case she comes to get him" And for a moment, it looked as though that fate would find Gretel, whose face was stark white. Hansel drew another cross on a large beech that threw the pair even deeper into darkness.

"But then" she whispered "Where do the stories come from, if he doesn't talk?" Hansel looked at her and gave a short burst of laughter that echoed around the woods.

"Honestly, Gretel. It's just a fairy tale. Things like that aren't true. It's far more likely there's just a creepy old psycho with a chainsaw running around the town" he laughed, but stopped as Gretel cringed in terror.

"Don't" she said. "Don't joke" he looked at her scared face and smiled at her.

"Come on, Gretel, you're not going to ruin tonight because you're _afraid_, are you?" She smiled shakily at him and he grasped her hand in his, pulling her small, white clad form in close as they continued down the winding path.

"Music" he would whisper in her ear every time she seemed to shiver. "Dancing, Romance, Gretel..." it sounded enticing to her...

"We should be there soon" he suddenly said at a point in the path which looked indistinguishable from the rest of them to Gretel. After marking the spot, he set off with a spurt of enthusiasm, and after a minute or two Gretel thought she could see a thinning of the darkness in the forest. A few seconds later, they stumbled on a worn path leading through the trees- Hansel smiled "This way!"

But the white cottage they stumbled on was completely wrong. No music floated through the trees, no lights shone in the windows, the garden seemed overgrown.

"Something's wrong" whispered Hansel. They stood in silence for a moment. "Do you- hear something?" Gretel's eyes darted here and there amongst the trees. "Is it- it sounds like a baby?" And indeed, there was a wailing sound floating through the trees, so quiet that it could just be the wind, but the two shared a nervous glance.

"Hansel!" whispered the girl, suddenly clutching him, "Over there!" Someone was coming through the bushes, a stooped figure that shuffled through the woods. Behind her scampered a small cat, eyes huge and wide in the gloom."It's the-"

"Children!" called a musical voice. The woman drew closer, an old, lined face and bright, piercing blue eyes grew more distinct and Gretel whimpered.

"Goodness gracious, you're out late! Are you lost?"

"Err- yes" said Hansel, looking at Gretel.

"Well, dear me, I didn't expect- but you must come in! I'll whip up something to eat" Gretel let out a small gasp and Hansel squeezed her hand. He was going to say no, but the kitten let out a small purr and a knot in his stomach loosened- he pulled Gretel forward. They would go straight back- it was a mistake to have ever come. As they followed the old woman to the door of the white cottage, he hissed

"There's no- such thing- as _witches_!"

The woman opened a small wooden door, and she sat them down in her warm, friendly kitchen.

"I'll just be a minute" she smiled "I'm putting on dinner for tomorrow. I don't know how I'm going to fit it in the oven! I always have this problem when Christmas rolls around, with the children coming over" She walked out, and Hansel smiled, but was shocked to see Gretel staring at a point over his head, looking as though she was about to faint.

"Hansel" she whispered "what are those?" In what was obviously a china cabinet facing them, two pale faces were just visible through the glass. "Babies!" she said, slightly hysterically. "Dead babies! And over there!" she pointed "Baby clothes! Children's clothes! It's true, it's all true! _And we're next, Hansel!_"

"Gretel, ssh, it's not, there'll be an ex-" he cut off abruptly as the woman entered again, carrying a large, laden plate covered in tinfoil. He studiously ignored his girlfriend's hiss of _babies_!

"Goodness, I have something else to fit in as well" said the woman, bending down to open the oven. "I don't know whether the children would-" with an animal shriek, Gretel erupted from her seat, shoving the woman headfirst into her own oven and slamming the door. Her screams followed the pair as they knocked over the plate, off of which rolled a plump Christmas turkey, and the cabinet, from which two porcelain dolls fell. Oblivious, they sprinted back down the path.

"We- killed- her" panted Hansel "If anyone- finds out"

"She's evil" hissed Gretel, tearing her way through the trees. "She deserves it!" Her ferocious glare dared him to contradict her.

* * *

The pair were at Gretel's house a few days later, when a knock on the door heralded the arrival of a police officer. The two were almost unrecognizable. Gretel was now the more dominant, more experienced, in her deep green dress. Hansel, pale and shocked looking, was sitting in the corner.

"Yes, officer?" said Gretel smoothly, before he opened his mouth.

"Miss Gretel? And Master Hansel also, of course?" said the officer, looking backwards and forwards between them. Gretel folded her arms- Hansel gave a start.

"Yes?" said Gretel impatiently.

"You are under arrest for the horrific murder of Mrs Audrey Hastings" he said smoothly. "She was discovered in her own oven by her two grandchildren on Christmas Day"

"We know" said Gretel stubbornly.

"Of course" said the man smoothly. "It has been widely publicised. And, imagine my surprise, when as we were investigating the scene of the crime this morning, when I discovered a trail leading almost directly to your front door"

Gretel looked at him smoothly. _Of course_, she thought. _The lipstick._ An evil smile brightened her pretty young face as she looked at Hansel and gestured towards her father's woodcutting tools.

"Will you do it?" she smirked, "Or shall I?"


End file.
